HIGH SCHOOL SWIM CLASS REMEMBERED

Remember? It’s impossible to forget! It was 1985, and we had PE every day. We only had to take it Freshman and Sophomore year. As I’ve said, I went to an all-boys prep school.

On the first day of Freshman year, we were given our PE kit: a pair of maroon shorts that were way too short. Made of stiff cotton, or something. A reversible shirt. One side maroon, one side gold. Our school colors, naturally.

Then, we were asked our waist size. At the time (sigh) I said “32.” The upper-class man looked through a box and pulled out a swimsuit. Since our school had an Olympic size pool, swimming would be part of our PE.

I had never seen the school’s swim suit. It was maroon, of course, and while not exactly a Speedo-like cut, it was pretty small. I think they called it a tank suit. It was 100% nylon. It had a liner, which was basically the same cut as the suit, but a little higher cut, and then the ‘shell’ or outer layer. It amounted to today what they might call a ‘square cut.’ (The picture above is exactly what we wore, except in black.)

If you’re not familiar with what a ‘drag suit’ looks like, just google it. As I said, it’s only a bit more generous than a Speedo, but not by much. And since it was made of all nylon, it was very clingy to boys’…parts.

I was instantly afraid of wearing that suit. In public. Of course, I loved the way it felt, being made of nylon. (Have I ever mentioned how much I like nylon?).  But outside of wearing panties secretly, I’d never worn anything like a tight swimsuit in front of other people, let alone a group of about 50 boys my age. (I never wore just panties in front of others, either.)

But I calmed myself by remembering that each part of gym class was four weeks, and heck; swimming class may not be coming up for a long time.

I was sort of correct, in that the part of PE where we were in the pool didn’t happe until about the third lesson of class.

Now, I tried the suit on as soon as I got home the day it was handed out. In my room, I got completely undressed and pulled the suit up. I tied the drawstring and tucked it in. It was tough concentrating on the awesome feeling of the nylon. I mean, it felt almost like I was wearing a thick pair of girly panties! But the thing I remember was staring at myself in the bathroom mirror, my nerves going crazy.

My 13 year-old boy’s ‘parts’ were clearly making a noticeable bulge. Oh my god! Was it too small? Which way should I position…it? No way! I simply could not wear this in public. (Ironically, I wore it to sleep in. A lot. After all, to a young boy with a nylon obsession, it felt totally amazing every second it was on my body.)

So, the very first day of our swimming period arrived. I went up before class, and told the coach “Sorry, coach. I can’t swim today. I forgot my suit.” Boy, was I clever. I’d just sit in the seats and read, or do homework. Alas, Not going to happen. The coach sighed and said “Don’t forget your suit tomorrow. But for today, here’s another suit. What…are you like a 30?” I corrected him on the size, and sighed as he handed me my worst nightmare. A brand new suit to ‘borrow’ for the day’s class.

At this point, all 50 boys were standing in a line next to the pool while attendance was being taken. So at least I had the locker room all to myself.

As slowly as I could, taking my time, I put on the suit. It was made by Dolfin, and even had a little dolphin logo. Ugh. But, I was wearing it. Granted, in an empty locker room. Nevervously, I opened the door to the pool.

50 boys all turned to see what the noise was. The door slammed, and there I was. I had it on. My ‘package’, my skinny legs, my hairless chest, all of it on public view for all to laugh at.

But, an odd thing happened. After the boys saw it was just a late-comer to class, (and no one popular), they all looked away and faced front. I walked by the long row of students, every last one wearing the identical swimsuit. Of course, not one boy said one word to me. No one even snickered. They were all probably feeling as uncomfortable and shy as I was.

After the coach finished taking attendance, he shouted “All right. Everyone in the pool.” All 50 boys jumped into the cool water.

Being the first day, we mostly played around in the pool. We may have done a few laps, and different swimming styles, but the main thing I remember is just having fun in the water.

Five minutes in the pool, and the swimsuit wasn’t an issue any longer. Ten minutes in, and I started to actually enjoy the feeling of the wet nylon suit. Loving nylon like I did, the sensation of wearing it in a pool was new and exciting.

Looking back, I sure did love wearing that beautiful nylon suit. And on the good-looking boys, I started to sneak peeks at them, and was amazed at how the suit looked on them. It turned into something that was very hot, and very exciting.

[No, I never got a boner wearing the suit. (In class, at least.) And I have no doubt that all the kids in my PE class could not care less about that experience now.]

But me? I’ll never forget it. And a few years ago I bought the same Dolfin suit on line, (but in a nice blue color), the same cut, 100% nylon, and I’ve worn it to many pools as an adult. As I’ve said, it’s not as revealing as a Speedo, and I never have gotten unwanted attention while wearing it, walking around, swimming, lounging by the pool.

I still love and adore my Dolfin, 100% nylon, tank suit.

But hey…what do you expect from someone who has “the nylon obsession?”

A GOLD NECKLACE ON A GUY CAN BE SEXY!

Yeah, yeah…we all know. I’m a child of the 80s. But there are certain fashionimg_6506 trends that I wish were still around. For instance…

A cute teenage (or older) guy with a button-down oxford, open at the collar (only one or two buttons please) with a tasteful gold necklace? Yup. It’s sexy.

The people who say “Only fags and mafia guys wear them.” are wrong. Naturally, that’s an oversimplification about those who wear any kind of jewelry. Cute guys wear necklaces, too. And not just “hemp.” Please.

Though, generally speaking, there are a few rules.

1. No more than two buttons undone. Ever. Personally, I’m a one button guy. (Though for the above picture, I wanted to show how two buttons undone looks with my necklace.)

2. No chest hair. Sorry guys. Chest hair is gross. Unless it’s closely trimmed. And if you’re going to trim it, might as well shave it. I have always been lucky in that I’ve never had chest hair. It just never grew. Good for me.

3. The chain just has to be tasteful. No Justin Bieber bicycle chains. Try to stay away from rope chains, as well. Yellow gold looks the best. And buy a REAL GOLD chain. Not plated, hollow, or filled. A nice flat chain looks the best. And no bigger than 2.5 mm. (White gold is okay, but to me it just looks like silver.) The necklace I wear is a flat wheat chain that is 2mm wide and 22 inches long.

4. Finally: always…ALWAYS keep your chain under your shirt. It’s that smallest hint of gold around your next that is so sexy. Showing less is more. A little visible sparkle always makes me look twice at the wearer. And keep your gold necklace new-looking and sparkly. Always remove and clean it at the end of the day. And never wear it in the pool. Chlorine is terrible for gold.

And always remember the sexiest trait a guy can have is confidence. If you think your necklace looks good, chances are others will, too.

Maybe part of the attraction is that perhaps it DOES look a little feminine. It shows that you care about your appearance. Buying yourself a nice gold necklace is like giving yourself an elegant gift. I guess, if you think you look “macho” in your chain, nestled in your chest hair, as long as you’re confident, perhaps it will come across.

But the sight of a soft, pretty-ish guy, cute smile, nice clothes, with that sparkle around his neck when the light hits the necklace… now THAT’S hot.

[Update: I think Ross Lynch is one of the cutest boys ever. I mean…EVER. Recently, he did an interview, and I’ll try to include a picture of his beautiful face. But it’s really what he was wearing. A gold necklace. It is the exact same width, length, and type of necklace I wear. SIGH.]

 

 

THANK YOU, BUGLE BOY COUNTDOWN PARACHUTE PANTS (and thank you, Kevin H.!)

image The fad started when I was in eighth grade, and continued through the entirety of Sophomore year at the all-boys prep school I went to. It stopped abruptly a year or so later. This story, though, takes place at the fad’s peak.

So. Sophomore year. I had, I think, six different pairs of parachute pants. I wore them Saturdays and Sundays, no matter what. During the week? At school? I slowed it down a bit, and wore them once or twice a week. If I felt okay, I’d push it to three. Even though I had six or seven different pairs (One pair I had was red with black zippers that showed the black nylon underneath. They were my most…elaborate pair.) I had my favorites, or most-worn pairs. They were the black/black pair, the dark gray with black zippers, and a blue pair with lighter blue zippers. Those two pairs were the foremost in my rotation. (I also loved my white pair, but those I saved for after school.) My sister used to tease me. “Nice ‘chutes, Cor.” One time I laughed because she said “Hey, nice outfit, Corey. I’ve got an idea! Have you ever heard of Parachute Pants?”  Yeah, she could be funny sometimes.

At that time, at that age, I knew I liked girls. My girlfriend and I (the makeup girlfriend) were still going out. But I knew that guys held a certain allure for me. I didn’t freak out, or get depressed or confused. It was like, Oh, okay. I like boys, too. No big deal, though I did keep this secret to myself, and one at-the-time girl who was a “friend.” (Turns out she wasn’t keeping my secret amongst her friends. Found that out years later.) Anyway…

There was a boy in my home room class, and my math class, named Kevin H. (I guess I shouldn’t tell his last name.)  Well, he wore parachute pants every damn day! He wasn’t one of the break dancer guys who’d show off their skills in the hallways during lunch periods. No, I don’t think Kevin was a break dancer. He was a little more masculine than me. He played on the basketball and swimming teams. But there was also something soft about him. He had beautiful olive skin and a stunning, beautiful  smile. Unfortunately, though we were both aware of each other, we never became friends, or even conversed with each other. Kevin wore his PPs fitted, like they were meant to be worn, and so did I.  He had that body that could carry it off, too. Certainly, I know that while I got teased by preppy kids for wearing my parachute pants, they liked Kevin, and left him alone. I can’t figure out why, except that Kevin was more popular than I. Boys. Am I right?

In home room, he was seated across the room from me, so I couldn’t really see him too well. Since it was the second period of the day, I’d always check him out to see which of his parachutes he was wearing that day. (My favorite of his was a white pair, with gray zippers that were placed in slightly different places than the usual Bugle Boys. He effin’ rocked those pants! (?) since they were tight, they totally showed off his (slightly more prominent than mine) package.)

I’ll never forget math class that year. I was seated one row away from him, in the last seats. I would bow my head, but out of my peripheral vision, I could see his nylon-covered ‘package’ when he was seated. It always looked like he had an erection, but that wasn’t true. I knew because it always looked that way, and when he got called to do a problem at the blackboard, he wasn’t at all stereotypically hunched over to hide his boner. No, he was just blessed with a perfect bulge. When Kevin was at the front of the class, his back turned to the room, I would gaze at his perfect ass. It was gorgeous. Perfect. The smooth, shiny ripstop nylon covering his ass was to my mind, the hottest image ever.

Good god! If I didn’t know I also liked guys, Kevin H. certainly proved to me and my raging hormones that, like it or not: I liked guys. And girls. But if I had to say which sex I leaned towards or preferred; I would have to admit (as if you can’t tell by my posts) that I found myself fantasizing about boys rather than girls. And even all these years later, I can still picture Kevin H in my head. The way his long, thin legs looked walking in parachute pants. His ultra-confident swagger. The way his bulge looked when seated at his school desk. And, of course, those nylon-clad legs when at the chalkboard. But even though he must’ve had a bigger collection of PPs than I did, (at the time), the white, with gray zippers, are the pants I’ll never forget. It’s been many years, and I haven’t gotten them out of my mind.

[If you’re out there somewhere: Thank You, Kevin. You have no idea what you did for me. And more importantly, did to me.]

I would love it if more guys looked back at their clothing from that period, and stopped saying things like “It’s embarrassing to admit, but I wore parachute pants.” Please guys, don’t be like that. Obviously, at the time, you must have thought they looked cool, and you really liked them. (I can’t imagine anyone’s parents saying “I don’t care if you hate them, you’re going to wear parachute pants. And you better convince people you like them or I’ll make you wear them every day!”)

Be proud. Share pictures! (Please!!) It’s probably asking too much, but…buy a new pair and rock them, just like you did in 1985.

LOOK AROUND YOU

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During warmer months, look around. I notice that tons and tons of guys wear shiny nylon shorts, jerseys, shirts, etc. Okay, they’re probably mainly made of polyester, not nylon, but they feel and look mostly the same.

It’s my assertion that these guys are completely aware of “the nylon obsession,” and they share a part of that, too. Think about it: These guys went to a store, picked them out, maybe tried them on, and then bought them. They rubbed the fabric of the shorts, in the store, between their fingers, and they absolutely had to have enjoyed the feeling. Part of their brain must have responded to the awesome tactile experience silky nylon shorts give. I firmly believe that the thought DID cross their minds: I like the way these feel. I think they’d be comfortable, and probably feel good to wear, too. Otherwise, they would have bought boring cotton shorts. And notice how many guys are either wearing boxers, or no underwear at all, with their nylon shorts. They have to like, or at the least, be aware of the feeling of the smooth fabric on their crotch. (I hate that word, too!)

If you know guys who seem to always wear silky nylon shorts, jerseys, or basketball pants, it is my belief that those guys have The Nylon Obsession. If they wear nylon shorts or pants, or even Under Armour gear, they must be wearing them because either they like the way they look in the nylon-esque clothing, or they like the way it feels against their skin. I’d bet anyone that if you could look through their underwear drawer, you’d find more than a couple pairs of silky briefs, or satin boxers. Why? Because now that they’ve started their own fetish for nylon, they want that feeling on every part of their body. It must be a conscious choice on the part of the individual to seek out nylon clothes. When a guy has more than one pair of nylon pants (i.e. Under Armour, wind pants, etc.), odds are he has his very own case of Nylon Obsession.

So, it is my firm belief that boys/men are absolutely aware of the silky, slick feeling of 100% Nylon, and truly like the way it feels. They like it A LOT.

It’s all a part of The Nylon Obsession.

THE NYLON OBSESSION BEGINNINGS

First off, I’m a guy. I’m 39. I’m straight…….ish. But Of course, everyone is welcome here. Except haters.

When I was ten, I helped out at the neighborhood video store.

One day, this guy walks in wearing the first pair of heavy nylon shorts I’d ever seen. They were red. I couldn’t figure out what was so cool about this dude’s shorts. He was exactly my age, and had nice tan legs. His shorts, to me at the time, looked like they were made out of plastic. They were very stiff and the guy had to keep flattening them down after crouching to look at the lower shelfs. I was completely transfixed.

Yes, I looked like a dork staring at this guy. But he came up and actually introduced himself to me. “Hi. My name’s Christian.” We talked a bit. He was, in fact, my age. He had just moved here, etc. I kept sneaking looks at his shorts. Eventually he said goodbye and left. I brought up the subject to my coworkers. “Hey, did you see that guy?” No one seemed to have noticed. Mark said, “The guy who you were talking to?” Well, I really didn’t want everyone to think I was gay, so I laughed and related our boring conversation. After, I casually said, “Did you see his shorts?! They were, like, made out of plastic or something.” By this point, my friends were starting to get annoyed that I was still talking about this guy’s shorts. At this point I didn’t yet know what NYLON was. At this point, my obsession began. But, not too far away, would come the world’s most amazing fashion fad.

.This Is Not Me.